The Lions Rule!!! Did I say Shaun Rogers? Hell, get me a Kevin Jones jersey quick before they're all gone! Where the heck have you been hiding him all year Mariucci?? He had to prove himself? How is he supposed to prove himself when you don't give him the ball? Sort of like trying to get a loan and you have to prove you don't need a loan before they'll loan you the money
The Lions are kicking butt all over the field! Minnesota lost and we can actually be in the running to win our division once we finish kicking the crap outta the pack! OMG (I spit my pop out here) who is that new running back? Get me one of his jerseys too, #3. Harrington, I didn't know we had a running back named Harrington too! Wow, how cool is he?
Wait is that Dre Bly? Holy bejeezus, he is breaking up passes, no wonder he made it to the pro-bowl last year, and I was dogging him out...Silly me, oh wait! Who in the hell is #38? Keith or Steve Smith, I think. Who the heck is he, no really! Is he new? Well we should keep him, and hey here comes #28 Walker. Wow, he just did some type of Mortal Kombat jumping corkscrew hit, that was cool. Well, finally the real Lions are playing. It's halftime
Fox sports guys are talking about us, Howie looks like he REALLY wants to like us, but I think he's been burned by the Lions too. I like the Fox guys. Bradshaw and Johnson make a bet on the Lions game. Bradshaw gets a bag of beans(?)
Uh oh, we're staring to catch up in penalties now. Why can't anyone catch the damn ball anymore? Wait did I say anymore - hah. Things are starting to go awry. What does Mariucci say in the locker room? Whatever it is, it sure as hell doesn't work
NO WAY!! OMG! What the hell? 
&^$#&*!@ %&^$@@ GAWD, I can't believe how much JoMo Sucks!!!! He just threw a &^%^* interception... AGAIN. Oh, that's alright JoMo we really didn't want to win anyway. Did I actually compliment the ^&%% ? Someone please slap me if I even look at a #3 jersey with anything but disgust! Someone should check his bank account to see if he's getting big deposits on Mondays after we lose.
*CHALLENGE* It got overturned, whew! Okay, okay things are still okay. I'm starting to get that foreboding that comes along with being a Lions fan.
Bret is throwing long. Oh NICE!! Way to go Defense, two defenders and they both miss. The announcers just inform us that Bret has a grin on his face...wuuunderfulllll! We're losing that's it. Shaun Rogers nails Bret. Penalty, now Rogers is steaming (literally & figuratively) on the bench. Mariucci is yelling at him. Hey MOOCH, at least SOMEONE on this team has passion and heart!! Maybe you should be bitching JoMo out huh? What'd'ya think about that?
We Lost, surprise surprise...I think I'm going to wait before I get that Rogers jersey. I hear he's a free agent after this year and if history repeats itself, the Lions won't pay him and Rogers will get out by the skin of his teeth and make it to some team that will get him a Superbowl ring like he deserves. Maybe he'll take Jones with him. I always thought it was crappy that they didn't let Barry go, while they kept decimating the team around him.
Really guys, I KNOW you can win. I would kill (not literally-need a disclaimer these days) to be in the locker room. What is REALLY going on?? I don't get it. I want us to be playing in our own Superbowl in 2006. I want to be cheering for you guys at the playoffs THIS year! I was the one chewing out everyone in my section for mocking your wins at the beginning of the year, and now look at me! I'm sick of hearing Mooch give his spiel, which reminds me, where Spielman? (lightbulb)That's the missing piece, let's get the heart of this team back here to coach or do kick ass or do something, him and Porcher! Hear that Mooch? Go run over to Ohio and beg Chris to come and work for you!
Way to go Lions, thanks for the excitement, I have to go get my medication now, maybe I'll share it with Art Regner, I'm so glad he's on after the games again!! His ranting is the only thing that kept me sane a couple of years ago.. hehehehe Hmmm, wonder if he plays football