What the HELL happened??? I need a smiley with egg on its face. Boy, someone sure feels like a dumbass! I'm so stunned I'm speechless... well almost.

First & foremost let me first get this out of the way ....ahh there, I feel 'slightly' better. I really can't think of much to say other than WTF? I like most everyone else are wondering WTF happened Sunday. Are the Lions really THAT bad? What happened to my damn defense? Who the hell were those Hall of Fame running backs on da Bears team?

Jeeezus! I actually sort of kept a running log of what was going on during the game so I could recap it a bit. And make my usual astute and entertaining comments about our win against Chicago, and found myself glued to the t.v. As much as I didn't want to watch the debacle anymore it was strangely like watching a train wreck about to happen. I kept waiting for someone to pull the lever in order to prevent what I knew in my gut was going to happen.

Instead someone pulled a lever somewhere and I fell into a hole and heard, "Off with their heads! Off with their heads!" This really is a surreal feeling and you could hear it in everyone's voices as they called radio shows, talked over the water cooler, even the all-knowing talk show hosts. Usually after a Lions loss there is anger and lots of it. This time there just seemed to be a bunch of people walking around with their jaws gaping open and a thought bubble over their head saying, "WTF?!"

Please Mr. Ford can I have Matt Millen's job? I certainly can't do any worse!! The first thing I would do is clean house! Look, I KNOW that I tend to be a pollyanna when it comes to the Lions and life in general actually. I LIKE my rose colored glasses, thank you very much... and I understand that people/fans do not want to hear, 'Lions are going to the Superbowl baby'. But give me that any day over the lackadaisical attitude that has permeated this team for as long as I can remember.

Where's the freaking passion dammit? I want to hear some confidence and passion. What's freaking WRONG with believing you can achieve? This Lions team is BEAT every year before they even start. Not to sound like a high school football coach, but you have to believe in yourself and believe you CAN WIN - EVEN the freaking SUPERBOWL- or you might as well just pack it up and go back to homeroom. Vince Lombardi said it best, 'Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a LOSER'.

Enter M&M (aka Mariucci & Millen), hell if Mr. Ford doesn't want to give me the job, I'll take the real Eminem... I hear he might be looking for a new job, as a matter of fact hit the play button up there and listen. I'd love to see that scrawny little white boy come in here & kick some ass. Maybe these players and coaches don't have a fear of going back to the mobile home if they fail, but maybe they should! I just don't get it! Let me try and figure this out in a logical progression.

1. We draft a young QB who is supposedly known for his 4th quarter game saving and long passes in college, he plays piano... so freaking what.
2. We have the two 'best' young receivers out there and come draft day we get yet another 'great' young receiver (triple threat my ass).

• So hmmm what kind of plays would we logically call? Well 5 yard dump offs just SHORT of the first down EVERY DOWN - OBVIOUSLY!! WTF? Sure, that makes sense!

1. We have Rogers, Wilkinson, Hall & Edwards. Add Holmes & Bailey.
2. We have a rookie Quarterback playing his 2nd game on the other team.

• So hmmm let's NOT blitz him, let's not scare or rush the lad- OBVIOUSLY!! WTF? Sure that makes sense!

SOMEONE THROW ME A FREAKING LADDER!!!!!!!!!

I could go on and on, but I'm sick of formatting all the damn lists in html. I thought it was interesting that Dick Jaurron our defensive coordinator used to be the Bears head coach back when the Bears defense SUCKED! Hmmm... Think there's a correlation. Nah, that would be too freaking logical for this team.

Off with their heads! I have to admit I'm not exactly sure who has the power to do what in the NFL football team hierarchy, but someone has to be responsible and I want them GONE! Viva la Eminem... Egads, I never thought that would come outta my mouth.

Hmmm, perhaps the majority of players/coaches feel like they already achieved their one opportunity and it was only to make it to the pro's cuz some of the players sure as hell don't believe they'll achieve anymore, as Dominic Raiola said when he was interviewed, 'The Lions are not a team that can come back once they are behind, it's going to be a long season, and that's about the only positive thing I can say'.... WTF? Fire his ass,

Oh wait maybe he should look to his coach for some positive reinforcement, and his great knowledge of the game as he showed when he said, 'We ended up throwing the ball more than we wanted to (huh?), this one got away from us (sick of hearing that!) and we'll have to study the game AFTERWARDS to see if we made the right decisions'. Are you FREAKING kidding ME? Pfft! You and your coaching staff can't make adjustments DURING the game?? You have to wait to lose the damn games first? Pfft!

Oh, and where was the freaking outrage over Pollard's illegal hit?? Where were his damn teammates? Nothing like knowing someone's got your back. Pfft! I've got to stop now, or my head's going to pop.

Look... If you had... ONE shot.. ONE opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted.. ONE moment .... would you capture it or let it slip?

That's right!! Lions are in FIRST PLACE baby!!! On our way to the Black-n-Blue Division Title. Da Bears & Vikings also lost... WOOHOO Superbowl bound! Just think we'll be the first team to host our own Superbowl!

Well I FINALLY got my DEFENSE!! And JUST like I stated earlier, give me a good corner over a good wide receiver anyday, in this case a safety ala Kenoy Kennedy and Terrence Holt... Welcome to DETROIT, and I LOVE you guys!! Shaun Rogers and James Hall were stellar as usual Earl Holmes showed up and is now my favorite linebacker, sorry Lehman but you had your chance. And WOW where did we get Kalimba Edwards from? He really brought it yesterday. Overall I love the way our new defense is gel-ing (is that a real word? It sure don't look right). I think the defensive additions that were made spurred our veterans on, it sure is nice to finally have some bad-azzes!

As far as the Offense goes, I really missed seeing some Roy Williams acrobatic catches, but being named as one of the 100 hottest players to watch in the NFL, had him double-teamed all game. Joey Harrington actually RAN WITH THE BALL!! And the Lions took my advice, retired the #86 and recruited a tight end, that CAUGHT passes! No. 81 Marcus Pollard, I thought he was a damn wide receiver the way he was playing yesterday. Who the hell is Charles Rogers? Does anyone even care anymore? Kevin Jones was SOLID!!

Talk-radio is awash with the usual CRAP!! "It wasn't a pretty win", "Green Bay didn't play its best", "Brett Favre was distracted", "Detroit wouldn't have won if Green Bay didn't get so many penalties", "the game was boring"...

Put simply our D-FENCE ROCKS!!! The defense won this game. AND GUESS WHAT IF YOU WANT PRETTY join Joey for some Champagne and Piano recitals, DEFENSE IS DOWN & DIRTY and this girl for one LOVED THE GAME!! I'll take this dirty win and GIVE ME MORE!!!Keep it up guys, the REAL football fans thought the game was very exciting, sacks, interceptions, oompf tackles, stopping 3rd down conversions... OMG IT WAS GREAT!! Y'all wanna see pretty? How's this for pretty... note the green & yellow black eye? heh. Sure was nice to see some other team bending over for once, especially Green Bay! I'm sure Kalimba didn't mean to force Brett to bend over by sitting on his head...Thanks for the pic Dutz =)

Needless to say, there is ONE person in Detroit that is VERY happy with this win, and to all those people that say we got lucky, "LUCK is what happens when PREPARATION meets OPPORTUNITY" so screw all you crappy Lions "Fans" out there! The Lions are never given credit, if this game went the other way, everyone would be clamoring over how great Green Bay's defense was, so give OUR guys their props for once dammit!

Now... Besides the plays on the field...

• Where in the hell can I find a Shaun Rogers youth (large) jersey in black???? There are girls that do really like football out here that also don't want to be tripping over the damn lions jerseys because they are hanging below our knees. I don't want a pink t-shirt, I want a Shaun Rogers jersey. Someone MAKE one already!! Another example of how the defense gets no damn respect! You don't even get to pick defensive players for fantasy football! What a joke as Jimmy Kimmel said, 'Guys, you really DON'T own a football team!'
• Cheese head were abound, and as someone was very astute in observing, the ticket office did a great job in spreading them out throughout Ford Field instead of 'packing' them all into one little space.


• The damn donut lost the race by a huge margin,coffee won and the bagel passed out from carb overload as it neared the finish line. PLUS.... We once again did not win the Johnsonville Lucky Row. They get free sausages - Maybe next time!


• We had some very irritating fans that were sitting behind us, they kept droning chant after chant, you know, that drunk monotone chant. Most of the time it was 'JOOOOO-EEEEE - JOOOOO-EEEEE - JOOOOO-EEEEE'. OMG, it was soooooo freaking irritating, even the Huge Joey fan in front of us was getting sick of it. I think the fan in front of us is Joey's fourth cousin on the step-mother's side or something, because he gets awfully upset when we make disparaging remarks about Joey! People started yellchanting 'SHUT-UP' it didn't work. Whenever Joey screwed up it brought a chorus of 'There's your damn Joey, now shut the hell up', that didn't work either.


• There was another irritating drunk (this is what happens when people have too much time too drink) hanging out by the ladies bathrooms, which are RIGHT next to the concession stand chanting ' LETTTTTT'S GOOOOOOOO LIIIIIIIIII-OOOOOOOOOOONS'. Over and over and over and over and over. And over & over & over. Some guy waiting in line for MORE beer told him to shut the f*ck up at which point the chanter immediately started chanting louder. OMG, I thought the 'more beer guy' was gonna go for the 'chanter guys' throat. What fun. I love football!!! lmao


• I thought these two would make excellent opponents for a special half-time: The battle of the plus-sized female football fans; Lion's Fan vs. Green Bay's Fan. It would be a close one for sure!
  

• The good news is the '1st down dude' didn't make an appearance on the damn jumbo-tron, I'm really starting to think I just may have a Ford fan reading this... Hmmm, how about letting us keep our seats for the Superbowl Mr. Ford?? Puleeeeeeeeez?!


• The bad news is they kept showing freaking Dre Bly on the damn jumbo-tron waving his hands trying to get the crowd pumped up. Hey Dre.... Make some damn plays and you'll see us get pumped up you overrated camera-hog.


• The other good news is we got to see an instant replay!!! Thank you! And the highlights of the game during the game was another great addition to the commercial break tedium.


• I finally got a picture of the most important player across stadiums all across the United States! He's definitely elusive and you really have to be paying attention to spot him in the split second he is within sight. And then you have to practically crawl over other people just so you can pay him for his time!


• Someone got kicked out to our right along the 20 yard line. Everyone was cheering wildly.


• Stefani called the punt receiver/kick-off returner (?) -I always get those 2 confused -another term for a kitty and the older lady packer fan in front of us just about crapped her pants as she tried to surpress her giggling.


• We got there late once again because someone forgot to bring the tickets with her! I manage to do that at least once every season. Well, the bright side is I got it out of the way early this season... So we didn't get to tailgate with 'The Hangman', but I do have your map... One of these games...


• I still have NOT found my Shaun Rogers jersey, apparently they do not make them in youth sizes, but Stef did find her Jones jersey, so she's looking finer than usual. It was amazing how many guys did not know who #34 was. They would always have to try & turn Stef around so they could see her 'back' in order to see the name on the back of her 'jersey'. MEN! Did I mention I can NOT find a Shaun Rogers jersey yet? What the Hell??


• During our half-time smoke break some hookers were trying to get free tickets to the Tigers game (or something) and managed to rile the boys up by flashing them their bra's. MEN! And No, ... Sorry, didn't get a picture... MEN!
• There was some stupid Green Bay girl fans a few rows in front of us that kept trying to get on tv with their sign. Someone yelled, 'Sit down you hooker' and she did. The older lady looked back at us and just about crapped her pants as she tried not to giggle. I think she had a grand old time!!


• Some a$$hole actually called the radio station and actually suggested to Lomas Brown that ED-DY (as in Drummond) should get a stern talking to because he takes too many chances on punt returns. What a freaking moron!! It goes against Mooch's conservative game play, and what if he lost the ball or got hurt, he should call more safe catches. And NO he was not being sarcastic, stupid people hurt.

Overall it was a great day! The weather was warm, the fans were great, and most importantly the LIONS WON and are in FIRST PLACE! And our DEFENSE ROCKS! Savor it & quitcher bitching, damn 'I want a pretty win' fans. Maybe you could ask Joey to do a cartwheel the next time he completes a pass to appease you Offense People. Wait, that might be not-so-damn-pretty at all. It was a very pretty win because our Defense made the pack look UGLY. GO D!